Be a well-liked person

Who does not secretly desire that she be loved and liked by one and all? Basically man is a social animal who has his own likes, habits, hopes and aspirations which may be different from those of his neighbour. However, each one of us is similar in our desire to be liked, appreciated and accepted in the society we live.

We observe that some people are more loved than others. While some of these people may be wanted by others because of the power, money or beauty they possess, several others are loved and wanted because of what they are rather than what they possess. Such people have some special attributes in them. It is not difficult to become like these really "beautiful people" if one realizes what these attributes are and then starts working towards acquiring these traits.

    We all want and need to be approved of and liked, but how do we ensure that we are?

Develop a sense of humour:
A person with a sense of humour can face even tough situations in life and still keep a calm composure, thus winning the confidence of those around him. He does not walk around looking as if most of the world's problems are on his shoulders. Instead he sees the lighter side of life even in tough situations. Such a person wins friends for life and is loved by all.

Do not brag:
No one wishes to associate with a brag who shows off most of the time. All of us have met people who say things like, "You know I have a lovely collection of sarees," or "My mother belongs to a royal family." Words like these mean absolutely nothing to the listener, unless she is also a snob and wants to become friendly with people because of thier backgrounds. Really great people are generally humble. J.R.D Tata, one of the greatest Indian Industrialists, used to pick up people from bus-stops and drop them at their destinations on his way to office, never even revealing his identity to them. There were times when people mistook him to be a driver, but that did not lead him into revealing his true identity. Remember the old saying, a tree laden with fruits always stoops.

Be sincere:
There's a beautiful old English song which goes like this:

He couldn't move a mountain nor pull down a big oak tree
But my father became a mighty big man,
With a simple philosophy:
"Do what you do, do well,
Give your love and all your heart
And do what you do, do well.

You can safely rely upon a sincere person because he will not do anything against you of he can help it. Learn to be sincere. People will love to have you as a friend. So often we hear of someone being joyfully described as, "She's such a sincere girl." Every boss wants his employee to be honest, hard-working and sincere.

Learn to appreciate:
Do you have the power to see the good points in others and the largeness of heart to appreciate them? Then you are quite a likeable person. So many of us don't realize how self-occupied we are. If only we could shift our thinking for a while and appreciate the good things we see in others, we could strengthen friendships and make new friends for life. When you meet a friend after a long time, tell her how well she looks, or how happy you were when you learnt she has been chosen to be a member of the MD's club, an honour given to the best employees working in your friend's organisation.

If you know something negative about your friend, let not the same be brought up in your conversation. So many people have the irritating habit of starting the conversation with a negative remark like, "My! how thin you've gone since I saw you last. Are you unwell?" Be sure if you are a friend, you will be told of any illness without being asked, hence don't put off your friend with such a remark.


         By appreciating good things in others, we can strengthen friendships.

Do not make fun of any physical handicap a friend may have. Even within your family, learn to appreciate and express your appreciation. Appreciation only encourages a person to do better and to seek further appreciation from you. Hence you'll be the gainer!

Virtues of calmness and composure:
I was angry with my friend
I showed him, my wrath did end
I was angry with my foe
I did not show him, my wrath did grow!

It's perfectly justifiable to express your anger when you are angry. It's much better than banging things about in your kitchen or your work-station. Calmness and composure together with tolerance for the sincere convictions of others are however required to become a near-perfect person. When we become angry, we often say things we do not mean. It is best to apologise. By not doing so, you have made a bad impression for life. There is no point in repeating mistakes, making people miserable and apologising each time for your mistakes. Your words lose their seriousness by such behaviour.

Do not fall prey to the bait of words. Learn to ignore snide remarks made by people. All of us need excitement in life, and for idle minds, what better excitement can be there than to use hurting words and see the reaction of the listener and enjoy his discomfort. When some person pulls you down in front of others, you do not lose your esteem or real worth just as you do not become a bigger person when someone praises you to the skies. Hence learn to take unwanted criticism and gossip in your stride. Remain calm and composed. Once you show the person that you are not ruffled, he will leave you alone and move to greener pastures!

Never ever debate on religious topics. All religions are based on beliefs, hence are beyond reason or debate. Do not say things like, "My concept of God is superior" or "Only my religion can lead you to salvation". Since the gods are dwelling peacefully in heaven, let us also be so on earth!

Learn to speak well:
A command over language is an asset of great value in one's social, professional and business life. It helps you to speak with confidence and to present your thoughts clearly. A good vocabulary will help you in expressing your ideas clearly. Make a conscious effort to spend some time reading. You could read anything - magazines on beauty, health, fashion, interiors or serious subjects and pick up thoughts, words and expressions. Learn to use simple words instead of difficult flowery words, unless you are writing poetry or describing a thing of beauty that you saw.


     Develop your own distinct personality to be liked by everyone

Follow the above guidelines and you will be known in an ever-widening circle as "that great girl/ marvellous guy" whom everyone likes to meet and talk to. You will have your own distinct personality and belong to that class of well-liked persons, we all wish to belong to.

(Guest Post by Jaya Swaminathan)