Minu asks:
I’m a 16 year old
girl. My problem is that I find I am basically different from other teenaged
girls.
While they like parties, get-togethers and other social outings, I prefer to stay indoors. I love nature and can watch the trees in autumn, rain splattering on the roof or birds chirping in bushes for hours together.
While they like parties, get-togethers and other social outings, I prefer to stay indoors. I love nature and can watch the trees in autumn, rain splattering on the roof or birds chirping in bushes for hours together.
I know I can paint
well but I am always fighting shy or revealing my talent to anyone else. I like
to be myself and I retreat into a shell often.
Can I be happy in
today’s world? Am I an introvert? Am I normal? My parents fear that I have an
unhappy future ahead of me.
Response: If
your basic nature is reserved and
introspective, there is nothing abnormal about your behavior and nothing to
worry about.
But if you long to be outgoing and sociable and are unable to do so due to the inhibitions of shyness or feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, you need help.
But if you long to be outgoing and sociable and are unable to do so due to the inhibitions of shyness or feelings of insecurity and inadequacy, you need help.
Reading between the lines, you seem to belong to the world
of quiet, gentle nature lovers.
Of course, you have a definite place in today’s world of boisterous noisy youngsters as well as those teenagers who bury their nose in their smart phones totally oblivious to the world around them.
You definitely are different and a refreshing change.
Of course, you have a definite place in today’s world of boisterous noisy youngsters as well as those teenagers who bury their nose in their smart phones totally oblivious to the world around them.
You definitely are different and a refreshing change.
But it is not a good thing to be always lost in a world of
your own. Dreams alone are not sufficient for life; you need to be engaged too
in some practical activity.
A life of a lotus-eater is all very well now when your parents are
shouldering the responsibilities of looking after your creature comforts. What
about the future? Dreams and nature-gazing may feed the soul but not the
stomach.
Engage yourself daily in some practical chores- a spot of
cooking, cleaning, stitching or DIY handicrafts. Join a foreign language class
or learn about the latest trends in technology, if that interests you.
This will discipline your mind and sharpen your intellect. It will also equip you with the skills of living.
This will discipline your mind and sharpen your intellect. It will also equip you with the skills of living.
You mentioned that you like to paint. Join a class and hone
your skills in painting.
It isn’t a good thing to hide your light under a bushel; instead showcase your skills to the world and you will be admired and this in turn will boost your self-confidence.
It isn’t a good thing to hide your light under a bushel; instead showcase your skills to the world and you will be admired and this in turn will boost your self-confidence.
Although you are basically a loner, you must make an effort
to make a few friends.
Talking with others, sharing our thoughts, problems, fears, hopes, dreams and joys is an extremely rewarding experience.
We then feel a kinship with others, and learn to sympathize and tolerate and we warm up to them.
After all, humans too are part of nature, aren’t they? But be yourself at all times and don’t pretend to be an extrovert; the effort will drain you and you’ll sound artificial too.
Read this wonderful article by Steve Pavlina and also this article for some great tips. Also ask your parents to read these two articles.
Talking with others, sharing our thoughts, problems, fears, hopes, dreams and joys is an extremely rewarding experience.
We then feel a kinship with others, and learn to sympathize and tolerate and we warm up to them.
After all, humans too are part of nature, aren’t they? But be yourself at all times and don’t pretend to be an extrovert; the effort will drain you and you’ll sound artificial too.
Read this wonderful article by Steve Pavlina and also this article for some great tips. Also ask your parents to read these two articles.
Our introverted nature should not lead to escapism from the
problems of life. We have to throw ourselves into the world and grapple with
its hardships and struggles. It’s all a part of life.
If you live too deeply in your private world of dreams, you
may find facing the realities of life a traumatic experience. You could feel
disillusioned and helpless that you may even suffer a nervous breakdown.
Life is not a bed of roses. It has its seamy, tough and
unhappy sides too. Nevertheless, it is beautiful, full of promise and very
enjoyable.
What are some practical steps that parents can take to help an introverted teenager to start trying to socialize
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